My Resume (Before Marketing Enhancements)


Mr. Unlucky

e-mail: QuestInternational@cox.net

Experience


I don't know!! I'm still trying to figure out what I'm good at. I've done lots of stuff. Some of it I even got
paid for. Some stuff I got sued for, but I'll leave that out of my resume, so don't read this part.

Scholastics

Virginia Polytechnic State University, Communication, Couldn't understand what they were saying.
Platt College, Computer Studies, I was replaced by a computer soon after graduating. 
Rogers State College, Didn't pay attention to what I was taking, I remember teachers screaming a lot.
Tulsa Jr. College, Engineering, Put on probation for bad grades before I even started.

Professional Summary

Run my own company, well sort of, still trying to make a profit. After 20 years, I'm due to be a success
any day now, In the mean time, can I get a job?

Work Experience

None to speak of.

Publications and Presentations

I'm a writer, can't spell worth a drrn, don't know grammer, but perseverance should count for something.
These are some of my soon to be famous books and speeches and seminars and stuff.

The Weekend Entrepreneur, Quest Publishing, 2007, Please buy this book, a publisher won't.
Taking your Invention to Market, Self-Counsel Press, 2005, Strangely, they never called back.
Back to Work, America House, 2004, I'm always looking for work. I'm an expert, so I wrote a book.
The Wizard Within, Self Published, 2002, My masterpiece, That's not saying much, but it still is. 
The Wizards Apprentice, America House, 2001 Released a week after Harry Potter, JK was just lucky.
Develop Your Creative Ideas, 2nd Edition, Oasis Press, 1996, For some reason the company went under.
How to Development & Market Creative Business Ideas, Oasis Press, 1991, I had such high hopes.
Temporary Opportunities, Articles, Jobs Newspaper, can you believe Iím not syndicated yet.
The Inventorís Guide, The book that started it all. 1987 Actually sold a few.
Patent for Double Envelope Chamber System, My first patent and business failure, I still weep at nights.  
Patent for Anti Reverse System, China, Canada, & USA. Could not back out of this patent for some reason.
Televised CNBC Show, Minding your own business, A nation of people going "What is he talking about"
Design Efficiency Program, National Technical Information Service, A White Paper, The paper was white.
Comprehensive Design Efficiency Program, Dept of Energy, The DOE paid me to write this. Really !
Patents & Innovations Speech, Tulsa Economic Development Center, Collected lots of vegetables. 
Also numerous Radio, Local and Network TV appearances. Proves the state of radio and TV is not improving.   

Professional Affiliations:

Whoís Who in the World, I didn't know you had to pay for being a member, but they send me a bill.  

Some of the facts are true, kinda


                                              
My Resume (After Marketing Enhancements)

Mr. Lucky
ďWizardĒ to my friends
Address kept secret due to autograph seekers
e-mail: QuestInternational@cox.net

Experience Vignette:
Quite simply, Iím the best youíre ever going to see. If I canít do it, It canít be done. Iíve excelled at everything I've ever done. Currently I'm excelling at Creative and Technical Writing, Industrial & Consumer Design, and Intellectual Property Protection. The Department of Energy and the Department of Defense have given me big grants to educate and astonish the big boys. Seriously, You name it, Iíve done it. I believe in a positive outlook and make it a reality. I motivate those around me to do their best just by my presence. I'm also very humble.  

Scholastics:
Virginia Polytechnic State University, Business Commercialization, When only the best will do.
Platt College, Computer Aided Design, An advanced technology degree for engineering.
Rogers State College, Marketing, Who were they trying to kid, I taught them how to market.
Tulsa Jr. College, Engineering, Determined quickly that I already knew more than my teachers.

Professional Vita:
As well as operating my own company, Quest International, Iíve worked for all the engineering and technology companies in the area that really matter. They all wanted to see the genius that is legendary in these parts. After conquering the highest summits and having no more worthy challenges, I switched to the staffing business. Thousands of people are grateful I did. I place only the best and so many companies are still in my debt.

Publications and Presentations:
Here is a short list of my most famous deeds, If you didnít know this; you are in the wrong circles.
The Weekend Entrepreneur, Quest Publishing, Just the best book ever written about freelancing, 2007
Taking your Invention to Market, Self-Counsel Press, Educating the masses with my knowledge, 2005.
Back to Work, America House, Teaching the down hearted how to market them selves, 2004.
The Wizard Within, Self Published, This book was just too good to give to a publisher, 2002
The Wizards Apprentice, America House, A timeless story that will last thru the ages. 2001.
Develop Your Creative Ideas, 2nd Edition, Oasis Press, Available at all the best book stores, 1996
How to Development & Market Creative Business Ideas, Oasis Press, sold at my seminars. 1991.
Temporary Opportunities, Articles, Jobs Newspaper, can you believe Iím not syndicated yet.
The Inventorís Guide, The book that started it all. A rare and unique collectorís find. 1987.
Patent for Double Envelope Chamber System, My first patent. I wrote, filed & licensed it myself.
Patent for Anti Reverse System, Peoples Republic of China, Canada, & the great USA.
Televised CNBC Show, Minding your own business, Many countries were awed at my presentation.
Design Efficiency Program, National Technical Information Service, My 1st Government White Paper.
Comprehensive Design Efficiency Program, Dept of Energy, My Second Grant & National Award.
Patents & Innovations, Tulsa Economic Development Center, One of my many popular speeches.
Licensing Patents, Trademarks, & Copyrights, Just one of my many great Seminars. Video archived. 
Also numerous Radio, Local and Network TV appearances and I even appeared on the Big Screen & DVD.  

Professional Affiliations:
Whoís Who in the World, of course, and lots of others organizations that were grateful to have me. 

All facts are true, seriously!!!

Why can't I get a Job?
I have a great resume
Really Mom, My new
job is breaking wind